im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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