After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
