Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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