i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
