Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
