Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
this just has baby written all over it
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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