And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
