This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
