NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
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