Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
