a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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