Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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