ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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