Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
being pregnant is like rehab
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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