Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
