hell yes lets make some ravioli
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I think people are normalizing furries
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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