You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
