what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
