I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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