yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Found the puke drawer
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Randomize
