All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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