He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
They have beer where we have blood.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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