Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
