If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
