the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
