She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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