You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
