i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
