stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Randomize
