I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
