Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
