Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
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