threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
