..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
