i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
