She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
