You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
