We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
