One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize