i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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