nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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