Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
