FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
