Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
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