I only kidnapped one of them. chill
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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