My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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