He asked me if I "almost moaned"
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
