so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
