We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
