Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
