and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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