My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
