my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
