Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize