Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
