I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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