And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
