I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
