Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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